From Shivers to Shakes
by PikaSass
Summary: A little AAML with a bad ending, sorry bout that! The gang is in a place they trust, and although powerful feelings are revealed, nothing is as powerful as the force of mother nature...


DISCLAIMER: I'm not associated with anyone who owns Pokemon, and I don't own Pokemon!  
  
A/N: Please don't blame me if this story sucks, I am going through major writer's block and I started this story ages ago but never finished it. So here I am, doing it now, please be gentle, my mind has an incurable case of it! (writer's block, I mean.) By the way, it's written in Ash's POV, but you should pick that up straight away.  
  
  
Why hadn't I saved her? Why had I stood by and watched her be engulfed by a pile of rubble? Most importantly...why didn't it take me instead? Who would've thought that a building we had trusted and spent so much time at would make her leave forever...  
  
*******  
  
"So Ash, what number Pokemon Center is this? Two hundred and forty?" Misty asked jokingly. For once, she wasn't actually insulting me.   
  
"How would I know, I don't really keep count" I shrugged, thinking of my sick Pokemon and walking faster towards the giant building.   
  
Brock was suddenly at my pace, and no one needed to ask why. My Pokemon may have been sick, but Brock was lovesick. Lovesick for Nurse Joy. I watched him in amusement as he eventually went into a run. I couldn't believe that after all those rejections, all those put downs, he's still so open about his crushes.   
  
I hate rejection. I hate it so much I avoid it as much as I possibly can. And if avoiding it means shielding my feelings from this world, so be it. I suppose it's easier for Brock - he must have been rejected so many times it's just numbing for him now.  
  
Misty trailed along behind us, but I couldn't really blame her. We had been walking a hell of a long way to get here. However, the sight of the Pokemon Center and the thought of showers and soft beds must have quickened her pace slightly.  
  
We arrived at the center with Brock making ga-ga eyes at the sister of the cousin's aunty Joy of the Pewter City Joy. We were given room number eleven and grudingly made our way, Brock easily bouncing back from his subtle rejection.  
  
The sun was setting as I heard Misty singing to herself in the bathroom. She never sung, but she should of. She had a hidden talent there, a talent I never knew about until I caught her singing something in the middle of the night. I didn't quite catch the lyrics, but her voice sounded like it had been sent on angel's wings.  
  
She emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped round her hair to see me and Brock both crashed on our beds and Togepi running around the room trying to lose the ever-watchful Pikachu. She laughed at the sight.  
  
"Look at the stamina from the future Pokemon Master and the future of Pokemon Breeding!" she joked. I slowly sat up and eyed her carefully.  
  
"This future Pokemon Master has been working so hard he's exhausted, so could the annoying scrawny redhead please leave him be" I warily pleaded.   
  
Misty glared but waved a hand distractidly, meaning the issue was closed. She was going to leave me to my slumber. My overtired body rejoiced at the thought of an early night's sleep and I sunk my head into the comfy feather pillow.  
  
I kept an eye open when Misty removed the towel from her hair. I could never understand why she didn't leave her hair out loose. She would've been the envy of every girl in Kanto if she did. It flowed around her shoulders like strawberry silk, and it made me wonder how such a small ponytail could hold an incredible amount of beautiful hair...  
  
No. I was not going to talk like this. Her hair was beautiful, no question, anyone would have agreed with that. But I couldn't let myself go furthur. The pain rejection had caused me in the past had scarred me for life and I openly sighed as I thought about it.  
  
Misty turned her head and looked at me as I did. Brock was a little more alive then me, and had gone in search of food. "Ash, you okay?" she asked in concern.  
  
"I'm tired" I lied, staring out the window at the sunset that was splashing the sky the same colour as Misty's hair.   
  
She sat beside me on the bed as she brushed her hair. "Don't lie to me, Ash Ketchum."  
  
"How can you tell?" I asked indignantly, a little angry my acting skills hadn't worked.  
  
Misty smiled. "I can tell anything with you. You're not the next Russel Crowe, you know."  
  
I continued to look out the window as she too directed her gaze outside. "Have you ever ignored something that was kinda important because you're more scared about the pain it could cause you and not the pleasure?" I suddenly asked, not sure if the phrase made sense.  
  
Misty looked at me quizzically. "What are you talking about?" she inquired.  
  
"Do you want the long story or the short story?" I asked quietly.  
  
"I can sit here forever" Misty mumbled. I noticed something in her eyes I had never seen before, but again shrugged it off.  
  
"Mom always told me that I was the apple of dad's eye" I started. Misty looked a little shocked that I had mentioned my dad, but quite frankly, so was I. I never talked about him. "But I never believed her because he was away so much. I always thought he...I thought he..."  
My emotions overtook me and I hung my head, choking back a sob.  
  
Misty looked at me sympathetically. "You thought he left because of you?" she asked softly. I nodded.  
  
"I shut him out so that he couldn't hurt me. When he left for good, I...I only just realised that it wasn't me, but by then it was too late. I can't build a relationship with him now, hell I don't even know where he is!" I yelled in frustration. "And now it's causing me more pain than I could ever imagine."  
  
"You think it's your fault that you and your father don't have a close relationship?" Misty interpreted perfectly, and I nodded again. "Oh Ash...that wasn't your fault. Like you said, he was away a lot, you couldn't help that. You certainly did not contribute to the fact that he left, don't be silly." She paused and looked at me seriously. "Ash, what brought all this on?"  
  
"I'm doing it again, Mist." I looked up at her, trying to see through her concerned eyes, those eyes I could stare into forever. "I'm shutting people out because I'm scared I'll get hurt again. If I get close, they'll leave me, I know they will."  
  
Misty shook her head. "Have I left you? After four years Ash, have I ever left you? No, I haven't, I don't intend to either." She put her hairbrush down. "Who are you shutting out?"  
  
"You" I answered simply, wanting to slap myself for saying so. That was a teensy bit hasty, and she didn't deserve to hear it.  
  
Misty's eyes went wide. "What...Ash, what have you shut out from me? We're best friends, I tell you anything and you do the same for me. We've risked our lives for the other and we've confided in each other on numerous occasions. Just like now."   
  
"But I'm shutting you out in a different way, Mist." I felt tears well up in my eyes and took a deep breath. "I see it every time I look at you, and I desperatly try to block it out so I won't get hurt."  
  
"Ash" Misty said severly. She looked me straight in the eyes and put her face closer to mine. Her tone softened at what she said next. "I would never hurt you. So tell me what's boiling up inside you before it comes out the wrong way and we both get hurt."  
  
She was right. I couldn't ignore it now, not after four years, not after all we'd been through. My hands started trembling as, for the first time, I felt her smooth, creamy skin on my hand. It was a feeling I would hope override the pain I was certain about to hit me.  
  
"Misty...I think I'm...I think I'm in love with you" I confessed quietly. I heard her gasp and watched her eyes also fill up with tears. I had hurt her. And that hurt me more than anything I could ever comprehend. "I'm so sorry Misty, I should've kept blocking it, I shouldn't hurt you like this, it's not fair..." I rambled.  
  
Misty shook her head and smiled through the silent tears that were falling down her cheeks. "Ash, I know I am in love with you." The phrase was enough to make my heart go into a series of irrational beats.   
  
"Wha...what did you just say?" I asked.  
  
Misty grinned. "See? That didn't hurt. In fact..." She put her arms around my neck and whispered in my ear. "I think it came out for the better." She said the sentance and I only had a microsecond to absorb the words before her lips were on mine. This feeling was even more powerful then the flesh-on-flesh one, and powerful enough to overcome the pain I feared so much.  
  
The kiss softly broke off and Misty looked at me again. "You should never be afraid to love, Ash. That could cause you insufferable pain" she explained.  
  
I smiled, realising the tears were gone, and that looking into her beautiful aqua eyes without trying to block them was much nicer then ignoring them. "Misty, I know I love you" I confirmed. She grinned and pulled me in for another kiss, the confirmation of it all finally hitting us both. We were in love with each other. Our worlds had finally collided in a way we had wanted them to for so long.  
  
Misty pulled away and I put my arm around her shoulder as we watched the sun sink into the horizon, ready to shine in another part of the world. It was at this exact moment I felt a slight quiver and looked down at her.  
  
"Are you alright?" I asked in concern, thinking she was crying. She nodded and knitted her eyebrows in confusion.  
  
"Ash, did you feel..." Misty didn't need to finish the sentance, as the quivers turned into violent shakes and we were thrown off the bed by the force.  
  
I could hear Pikachu, Togepi and Brock yelling from the kitchen, but knew I could do nothing to help them. The shaking was so bad I could barely crawl. I just braced myself for the physical impact of this huge earthquake by putting my hands over my head and watching the world around me literally collapse.  
  
Misty was screaming beside me. I knew that earthquakes were one of her biggest fears in life, next to bugs and needles, but she followed my lead and put her hands over her head.   
  
But it was to no avail. I felt something hard crash on my back and took a glimpse of the world, thinking it was my last.  
  
I woke up to an unfamiliar voice and a bright light in my eyes. "I found one alive!" the voice shouted. This was followed by applause and a few others moving what appeared to be the roof on top of me.  
  
"Hey kid, are you okay, can you talk to me? How many fingers am I holding up?" the first guy asked me. The world spun and I concentrated on the fingers.  
  
"Um...four" I said with the slightest hesitation. The guy sighed with relief and I was pulled out, only to nearly collapse at the pain in my side. "Crap that hurt" I mumbled.  
  
The rescuers looked at each other. "Could be internal. Better get him to the hospital" one suggested. The others nodded and I was loaded onto a stretcher, the world now a vertical line above me.  
  
"Wait, where's Misty?" I asked weakly. Needles were protuded into my hand but I hardly felt it. All I felt was worry for my love, and a guy looked at me seriously.   
  
"Do you mean the girl who was in this room too?" he asked. I nodded frantically, trying to ignore a kink in my neck. He sighed and looked down on me. "We got her out yesterday, but...she didn't make it."   
  
The last four words hit me like a cannonball to my stomach and I found it difficult to breath. "Yesterday? How long has it been since...?" I couldn't finish the sentance.   
  
"Two days. She died of internal bleeding and a severly broken neck. I'm sorry." The guy looked genuinly sorry, like he wanted to help, but he couldn't. No one could ever replace her.   
  
"Misty..." I whispered as the stretcher made its way through the rubble. "She can't, I was talking with her, she can't be...she was here..." I muttered the almost incoherent words and felt warm tears slide down my cheeks. It had felt like only minutes ago that she had been confessing feelings identical to mine, minutes ago that we had truly found the other.  
  
"Wait, did you find another guy? And two Pokemon?" I asked worridly as I remembered Brock, Pikachu and Togepi. The stretcher was hauled onto an ambulance and the same guy who had found me answered my question.  
  
"Yes, they didn't get caught in the rubble. Clever guy, your friend, he went under a doorway and took the Pokemon with him."  
  
A doorway? A freaking doorway would have saved my Misty? Why didn't I shove her under one? There was one only feet away from us, it would only have taken a second.  
  
The ambulance whizzed past the destroyed city of Celadon and into the only part of the hospital that hadn't caved in and was relativly under control. The doctors mumbled off a load of jargon I couldn't pick up, and I fell into a deep, grief filled sleep.  
  
*******  
  
So here I am now, recalling the events that changed my life only a week ago. I feel like I have lost my other half, like someone has grabbed my survival side and ripped it out. Not only did it hurt, but it jeopordised my survival rate.  
  
I couldn't go on without her. I had for the past week, but only barely. Being discharged from the hospital had been the best news I had received all week. Not even Brock or Pikachu could pull me out of my black hole of depression, and I couldn't even seem to find a way out of it.  
  
I stood in front of her grave, regretting the fact that I had missed the funeral due to my injuries. I had picked her favourite flowers, white roses, and gently laid them down to rest in front of the tombstone. She had always told me that she would have a bouquet of white roses for her wedding and she didn't care if you couldn't see them beside her dress.   
  
"Hey Misty" I said quietly, not feeling at all uncomfortable talking to a grave. I knew I wasn't. I was talking to Misty, my best friend, my love, the one person I never should have shut out. I started trembling as I read the engravement on the stone:  
  
"Misty Waterflower, 1987-2001. Loved daughter of Rose and the late Tony, sister to Lily, Violet and Daisy, and close friend to Brock Slate and Ash Ketchum. Taken away from us too early in a tragic accident. Now that you are gone, your name represents what our eyes will always look like without you. Rest in peace, sweet child."  
  
My tears flowed over and I hung my head in shame. "I could've saved you, Mist. This is my fault. I could've done something, but I didn't. I only thought of myself" I wailed. "If only I hadn't shut you out for so long." I looked at the small picture on the tombstone, taken about a month ago at the Ocean Festival on Seafoam Islands. Her eyes had sparkled that whole day, being near the ocean and taking part in a festival that revolved around her favourite aspect of life.  
  
I quietly kissed the picture and stood up. "I love you, Misty. I know you can wait for me up there because you waited long enough down here. I'm sorry I took so long." And with that I regretfully walked away, not being able to face the finality of this place, but knowing in my heart that Misty would always be with me. She would be with me when I was scared, when I was near the ocean, and she would always be with me when I doubted any pain I thought would hit me. For she taught me that pain should not be avoided when it can so easily be healed.  
  
  
A/N: Aye aye aye, what was I thinking? I'm telling ya, it's because I've had no sugar! Please review and brighten up my sad life, I didn't enjoy it but someone out there might've, lol. :) 


End file.
